some people get to be a part of the festivities.

some people get to watch from the sidelines wondering when their turn will come or thanking their luck stars it's not them being forced to stand on ceremony.

me

well, you can find me sitting with baited breath, wondering whose going to call upon me for my awesome services. i don't mind the requests but, i have to admit, i wouldn't be mad if i never received any!  shooting weddings is not my favorite thing in the photography world to do. it's stressful. and time consuming. and physically exhausting. and extremely rewarding (if done right) but terribly disappointing (if anything is done wrong). as a photographer, missing that one shot...can mean the world of difference (in my mind) as to whether things went right or went wrong.  i'm a perfectionist...what can i say?

but it's time for me to deviate a bit...'cause that's what i do. i was chatting with some friends today about a huffington post article on the subject of getting married. more to the point, about women waiting, hoping, wishing, praying, needing to get engaged and/or married. it was a  hilarious read!! it was by no means a scientific study so don't get your panties in a bunch. it was more like an observation piece that lead to good conversation and a whole lot of giggling & "i know that's right"s. 

first there was some crap about women spending years with a man who will never marry them. secretly, she's anxiously awaiting that day he will surprise her by popping the question. blah blah blah. but it also iterated that not all women stay with a man with the hopes of getting married (not everyone is looking for the fairy tale), it's just that some women do. and some (im my humble opinion), is too many!

from huffington post article ~ "Some women need the validation of the proposal more than an actual wedding. There is something about being chosen, even if it's not by the right guy, that has women clinging to relationships everyone else can see are going nowhere. <--these are the ones who must profess their love constantly in hopes of convincing others  Last year, Jennifer Gauvain, a clinical social worker and author, released her finding that "30 percent of divorced women knew they were marrying the wrong guy on their wedding day."  <--no comment As Gauvain said, "Getting engaged can be a triumph, and if he's the wrong guy, the high from the attention of the engagement can minimize that fact." <--yet another reason to "legalize it"

seems a bit silly to want to be wanted in that manner by someone who doesn't want to want you like that. um...yeah. you know what i mean. as a woman, i would think most of the euphoria of planning a wedding and getting married comes from the shared joy between the couple. when he smiles lovingly at you in all your excitement as you prepare for your big day (come on you know that look. you've felt it, yes felt it! if you haven't, well, i'm sorry)...not when he rolls his eyes in disdain because you won't shut up about it.

absolutely can't wait for these two to walk down the aisle!!

anywho, when i look at the wedding pictures i've done over the last couple of years, two things always stand out: the glow of the brides and the pride in the grooms' eyes. there are simply some things that cannot be faked even with all of that pomp & circumstance.

as we were talking about the article, i laughed and thought about how faux and engineered looking a collection of wedding pictures would be if the things i read were actually happening behind the scenes (so glad to say all of the weddings i shot were based on mutual desire, love and respect). if you ever look through a bridal magazine, you will see beautiful photos of brides and grooms looking their absolute best. but if you look closely....you won't see the glow or the pride that i spoke of. nope. you'll only see teeth. big ole toothy grins that say...don't worry about the truth, forget that you know that this is staged.  just know i say that i'm happy and take my word for it.

it's hard to describe but you'll know what i mean when you see it. what a shame someone would spend so much money on an awesome photographer such as myself to capture a falsehood. i don't know, i don't think i would want to add a gallery of lies to my professional portfolio. oh who am i kidding. if they want to spent the cash, i'll take it! but seriously, couldn't that money be better spent on something else like, let's say...shoes?

from huffington post article ~ "Ultimately it's not about a wedding.  It's not about the proposal story or a ring on your finger.  It's about two people falling in love and wanting to build a life together.  If you're deeply unhappy with someone but you think his proposal will change things, it won't.  It will distract you from the real issues for a while, but they will still be there.  Marriage can be a wonderful thing, but only if both parties are equally committed.  Trust me, you don't want to talk someone into wanting to marry you.  If he's giving you signs that he doesn't want to marry you, heed them.  You'll thank him years from now."

You can read the full article here:

Signs He's Never Going to Marry You (And Why You Should Thank Him)

rb...